


Team Ironman and Team Cap... Unite!!!!!

by wannabe_someone



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Civil War Fix-It, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Stony - Freeform, Superfamily (Marvel), Superfamily-freeform, Tags May Change, This is an AU ok, im apologizing in advance for what i'm doing but you wont know until later, no beta we die like the heroes we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-06-09 13:46:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 9,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19477138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannabe_someone/pseuds/wannabe_someone
Summary: This is an AU/eventual fix-it. Homecoming has happened, but nothing else after it.This is an AU of Peter creating a sitcom about both teams, and it's stony centric. It's based on a prompt i've seen that's for a sitcom with a married couple where one's a mob boss and the others a cop and their lives trying not to kill each other, but stony. This would've been crack, but there's a plot.





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> Everything in italics is an added in voiceover, the *text* is showing what the camera does. This is my 1st multi chapter work, so enjoy! ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh also tw for a semi implied panic attack, it isn't seen or in detail, but the start of its implied

_The_ _show starts in a lavish penthouse overlooking the NYC skyline. Two people are sitting on a couch in the middle of a living room that’s decorated in shades of gray and white, with large floor to ceiling windows and the occasional plant. We are in Stark Tower. The two people are Steve Rogers and Tony Stark._

“Can you introduce yourselves?”

_ The man on the left replies first. _

“Hi. I’m Captain Steve Rogers, formerly in the US Army, also known as Captain America. And I’m currently a fugitive wanted by many nation’s governments for not signing the Sokovia Accords.”

“I’m Tony Stark. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

_ The brunet, Tony Stark, looks unamused, saying everything as though he’d said it a million times before. Steve Rogers puts his arm around his shoulder, and we see Tony’s first real smile during this interview. _

“You know who I am. And this big hunk of muscle here,”

_ Tony playfully slaps Steve’s arm, smiling up at him. _

“Is my husband.”

“I’m pro-Accords, unlike him. We, the Avengers, need to be regulated. My husband, though, has made me think differently about some things. Like the registration of people with powers. And no secret identities.”

_ Since the middle of this exchange, they’ve been looking at each other fondly. I, as the narrator, ask them a question.  _

“What has this done to your relationship? I mean, you’re married, but one of you is on the run, and you’re on opposing sides, right?”

_ Tony grimaces, then looks at Steve, as if waiting for him to continue. Seeing the blond’s face, he sighs, resigning himself to answering. _

“At first… it wasn’t so great. We fought… and it didn’t end well for me.”

*Cut to a shot of Steve smashing his shield into Tony’s arc reactor in a bunker*

_ The blond is holding the brunet’s hand a bit tighter now, rubbing his back, trying to calm him down. _

“Hey, Queens? Can you give us a minute?”

“Sure Mr. Captain America. I’ll shut off the camera too.”

*Camera footage starts again, the couple is back on the same couch they started on* 

_ Tony starts speaking again. _

“We’re back to normal now, or at least as normal as we can be. We’re still two super heroes! Sure we fight sometimes, especially since that bastard Ross has me in charge of trying to capture the ‘Rogue Avengers’.”

*Cut to a shot of Tony aiming at, and barely missing, Steve’s shoulder. Then Steve, along with the others; Natasha, Vision, Sam, and Wanda, run into a nearby forest*

_ Steve starts to speak again, his expression changing into something harder, hiding pain. _

_ “ _ We’d been on the run for a while. Clint and Scott were on house arrest, T’Challa went back to Wakanda, and the rest of us just stuck together. That was the night before Vision and Wanda disappeared.”

_ Tony started to speak, to break the awkward tension that had formed. _

_ “ _ And I didn’t burn you like the other times. Right, sweetheart?”

_ Both men started smiling, looking at each other like they were the most precious thing in the world. I, as the narrator, wanted to puke from the sweetness. _

“Right.”

“Mr. Stark, Mr. Rogers,”

“Oh, hey Friday. What’s going on?”

“Mr. Rogers needs to leave now to escape detection.”

“Bye then, honeybear.”

_ The men give each other a peck. Then their kissing becomes more involved, deeper. I had to intervene. _

“Get a room!”

“Okay, bye Peter. Bye, Honey. See you!”

_ Steve leaves the room. _


	2. A Day in the Life of Tony Stark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's in the title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted yesterday for Steve Roger's birthday. Happy Birthday. You've truly got America's ass. Now here, have a Tony centric chapter.

“Okay, Spider-Kid, now that we’ve talked about Steve and I, we need to talk about your real hero, me.”

“Just for that, Mr. Stark, I’m wearing Cap shirts for the next week!”

“Ok then Pete. You’re out of the will.”

*A camera starts recording, Tony’s on the same couch as in the last scene*

_ Now here is a look into the life of everyone’s hero, Tony Stark. It has been a day since we saw the famous couple together. Today, we hope, there will be less mushiness. _

“You’re recording right now, aren’t you?”

“Of course, Mr. Stark, it’s my duty”

“Ugh, Captain Righteousness is rubbing off on you. I feel betrayed. I thought you were my son.”

_ I felt offended, as a Captain America fanboy should. Nobody should attack an American hero. _

“So, Pete asked me to talk about my life for some sitcom he’s making. So where should I start?”

“With anything, I guess.”

*the shot cuts to Tony Stark, on the same couch as always, in jeans, a Led Zepplin shirt, and a sport coat, looking ridiculously formal*

“Hi, I’m Tony Stark. Former CEO and current head of R&D of Stark Industries. And I am Ironman.”

_ Tony Stark sounded like he was reading from a script. It seemed so out of character that I burst out laughing. _

“That sounded wrong, didn’t it? Ok, *bleep* this.”

“... Mr. Stark! No swearing on my good Christian Minecraft server!”

*the shot changes again, to Tony walking through a giant lab*

_ We are here, in Tony Stark’s natural habitat, his massive, state of the art lab. _

“So, in here is my lab. It’s honestly where I spend most of my time, both working on things for SI and Ironman, along with my own personal projects.”

_ Now we see the massive lab, in all of its glory. One wall is lined with millions of cars, the other with Ironman suits. The final wall is all glass, and the last one is a wall of coffee machines. Only coffee machines. The middle has large screens, tools and half-built inventions and suits spread out over large tables. And in the middle, most curiously, are a set of half-built web shooters next to a board with what looks like thousands of chemical formulas. _

“And in here are my bots, Dum-E and U. U’s a sweetheart, but Dum-E…”

_ Dum-E whistles sadly, looking forlorn. _

“Come on, drama queen, you deserve it.”

*cut to shots of Dum-E giving Tony coffees with motor oil, and, most memorably, spraying Tony with a fire extinguisher after falling down an early prototype of the Ironman suit*

“Sometimes my intern, Peter, will come here. He’s Spider-Man’s tech guy. Does some really cool stuff. He’s an actual genius. Hey, Pete!

_ Oh no, he’s calling me. Help me,,,please,,,I’m dying! _

“What’s going on, Mr. Stark?”

“Want to be on the other side of the camera?”

“Sure!”

*the camera flips, showing the face of the intern, Peter*

“So hi! I’m Tony Stark’s personal intern, Peter Parker. Um, I’m here a lot, I guess I’m Spider-Man’s tech guy. I go to Midtown, and I like Legos and Star Trek. Um… that’s all, I think.”

“You’re a Trekkie? I thought you loved Star Wars?”

“Nah, that’s Ned. I do it for him. It’s good, but I like Star Trek better.”

“Oh,ok.”

_ Tony Stark shrugged nonchalantly. _

“He’s also been narrating this entire thing. I saw the last video, nice voiceover.”

“Thanks!”

*shot cuts back to Tony Stark, wandering through SI*

“Other than Ironman and SI, I spend way too much time chasing down the love of my life for this asshole, Ross.”

*shows picture of the Secretary of State*

_ Everett Ross was responsible for the Abomination and also the current problem, the Sokovia Accords. _

“He’s a pain in my ass, and most days, in these meetings…”

*shows video of Tony yelling while on the phone*

_ Tony Stark sighs deeply. _

“I want to tell him to go *bleep* himself.”

“So yeah, right now, that’s my life. SI, hanging out with my beloved intern, and arguing with Ross.”

_ A voice can be heard from outside the door and a woman walks in, looking in control and dangerous. Her name is Pepper Potts. _

“Tony! There’s a board meeting in 10 minutes!”

“Coming, Pepper!”

_ Tony Stark looks back at the camera. _

“Sorry, kid. My overlord is calling me. But movie night later?”

“Yeah!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the end this might be a series I want to do the fluffy little drabbles that only exist in my head that are kind of story-adjacent but not necessary to understanding the story so yeah when I'm done maybe


	3. Hi, Spider-Mom!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YAY the rest of Team Cap!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing weird in this chapter just fluff and some slight plot. I just finished the first angsty chapter bc I'm ahead. There will be some serious angst and irondad, I promise you.
> 
> Also everyone who reads Check Please! there's a cameo, if you find it (its not a person) comment what it is and if you don't read Check Please! its really good so yeah random webcomic rec

_ This scene starts in an abandoned warehouse. It’s location is not being disclosed to protect its occupants: The remains of Team Cap. _

“So what’s on the agenda for today, Captain?”

_ We get our first glimpse of the Black Widow, or Natasha Romanoff, along with Captain America, or Steve Rogers, and Sam Wilson, the Falcon. They are all gathered around a small computer and seem to be looking at some files. _

“We’re still looking for the files on the Raft.”

_ The other two audibly groan. The Raft is a top secret prison for superheroes and anyone in violation of the Accords. _

“We’ve hit a dead end. We should just give up now. Maybe Stark can help.”

_ The Black Widow stands up, looking beautiful and almost haughty. _

“I’ll take over. You aren’t any help, Grandpa, and Sam, you’re decent, but I’m the best of all of us. Sam, you drop off these files. You know where to go. You’re the least visible of all of us. Steve can stay here. We need you to keep drawing what you remember of the Raft’s layout.”

_ The other two men leave. Now we’re alone, just me and the notorious Black Widow. And she didn’t notice me, or so I thought.  _

*the Black Widow’s face suddenly appears in the shot*

“Why hello, Spider-Man.”

_ When this happened, I started sweating and got nervous. _

“Um, hi Spider-Mom?”

*the shot starts with Natasha Romanoff on a disgusting green couch*

“We got the couch from a frat house. I wouldn’t sit on it if I were you.”

“Um, thanks.”

_ I wanted to ask her what she was doing, but she knew what I wanted to know before I even asked her. _

“We, Team Cap, are here to try and take down the Raft. The two teams, Ironman and Cap are doing it two different ways. Tony’s going the legal route with our info. He’s trying to reform the Accords and expose the human rights abuses. We’re figuring out how to get into there, destroy it, free everyone and get out of there.”

“Thanks for that Spider-Mom.”

“No problem. The boys will be back here in a few minutes. You should leave. I know we can trust you, but they might not think so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm seeing FFH today, wish me luck  
> ;) :) uwu


	4. Stony Feels-part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is talking to team Cap about Stony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi people, so im ahead so im at the angsty bits, so internally rn i'm thinking these chapters will kill you but its not true... you have another chapter after this one before i destroy you ;)

“Why are you back here, Spider-Man? I told you to leave.”

I wanted to talk about Steve and Tony’s relationship with Team Cap. I needed to be here to do that. I found her on the same green couch as last time, this time with Sam. I’d used the couple’s once a week meeting to talk to them. Sam obviously knew about my project since he wasn’t surprised when I showed up and told them what I was trying to do.

*shot cuts to Sam on the green couch*

“How do you feel about Steve and Tony’s relationship?”

“Their relationship? It’s good for them. I mean, before this whole… situation, I ran group therapy at the VA for veterans. I am one. I knew Steve before, a bit, and Tony got him to open up. They helped each other and they’re good for each other. It’s weirder now, with the whole Civil War, but they’re still a good couple. And they’re disgustingly sweet, too. The only reason I’m not at the compound begging Stark for updates is because of those two.”  
*shot changes, focusing on the exo-7 suit, which is damaged with some loose panels and worn out wires*

“I can help you with the suit, Mr. Falcon.”

“Thanks. And it’s Sam. You don’t need to be so formal.”

“But it’s respectful!”

“Ok. Then do whatever.”

“But they are disgustingly sweet. I’m glad the compound has soundproofing.”

“Wouldn’t normal work?”

“Enhanced senses.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“I fixed your wings though.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem!”

*shot cuts to Natasha on the disturbing couch*

“I will ship Stony for life.”

She started to smirk, an expression that was incredibly frightening. And then she giggled. Honestly giggled.

“There’s so much blackmail. And bald eagles are thriving now, thanks to the two of them.”

“Anything else?”

“Oh, I forgot.”

She was gleeful. I didn’t know if she was actually a psychopath or not, but either way I wanted to run. Even if I loved my Spider-Mom, I was afraid.

“I won $300 off of Clint when they started dating. We had 3 bets: the virgin Steve bet, when they would start dating, and if they’d out themselves. It turned out that Steve, was not, in fact, a virgin, which I knew from the old SSR files, and they kissed about a month after SHIELD fell, like I’d predicted, and the photo was caught by paparazzi. I gloated about that win for a month.”

*a compilation of videos plays, starting with Natasha demanding money from Clint, then her constantly reminding him of his failure. The last video was time stamped from 3 months earlier*

“Oh, I forgot about that last time.”

Karen reminded me that I needed to leave if I wanted to not get caught by Captain America.

“Crap! I need to go! See you Mr. Falcon! Spider-Mom!”


	5. Stony Feels-part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stony feels part 2, maybe with some fluff in the end notes
> 
> Also pls comment, leave kudos, its part of the reason I do this they give me life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 more chapter before angst... you have been warned...  
> *evil laugh*

We’ve returned to Stark Tower. On the everpresent couch is Colonel James Rhodes, or War Machine/Iron Patriot.

“Hey, Peter! Want to hear more stories about Tones in college?”

“Sorry, I’m working on something. Maybe later, though!”

“Oh, your show? That’s you and Ned, right? What are you on, Stony feels part 2?”

“Um, yeah… I guess? You saw it?”

“Figured it was more of Tony being a dumbass. I needed some comedy. Ross is being more of a pain in our ass than usual.” 

By now, I was really wondering why the Accords are such a big thing. I needed to ask MJ.”

“If you want to know, here’s how I feel about Stony. It’s weird for the two of them, because Steve’s a fugitive, but since Steve came back, I haven’t had to pull Tony’s sleep deprived, drunk ass out of his lab. And thank God. I did enough of that in college.”

Colonel Rhodes paused, trying to figure out what he wanted to say. He didn’t, so he asked me this question instead,

“What do you think about Stony?”

“Um, it’s good, I guess? I mean, Mr. Stark seems happier, and as long as I don’t look at their disturbing amounts of PDA or the fan art on Tumblr, I haven’t been scarred for life.”

“Yeah, Tony’s really clingy and over the top with everyone he cares about.”

I groaned, remembering this one specific incident I wanted to wipe from my mind forever.

“He wants to pay for everything. Aunt May barely stopped him.”

Colonel Rhodes was still suspicious, but he did let it go, thankfully.

“If that’s your only problem, then okay. But you got off easy.”  
*camera turns off, when it comes back on Pepper Potts is on the couch*

“Look Peter, I’m only doing this to say one thing if this ever becomes public.”

I eagerly waited, wanting to hear what she had to say, millions of conspiracy theories could be true all because of what this dominatrix said. Was Tony Stark in a relationship with a clone of Cap? Was Cap still dead? I needed the answer.

“Yes, Tony and I were in a relationship, and yes, we did break up. It was a while ago, we’re all fine. And if being with Steve makes Tony happy and if he’s still healthy, I ship it. I ship Tony Stark and happiness, and if that happiness is because of Steve, I’m good with it. But if Steve hurts Tony…”

She sat in silence, as if plotting the best way to kill a man before addressing the camera.

“If you see this Steve, I’m warning you. If you hurt Tony Stark in any way again I will hunt you down and sue you so fast and so harshly you will wish you’re dead.”

She then sat up and composed herself again. I would have responded, but I was too afraid to do anything.

“Now, Peter, any questions?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fluff:
> 
> Peter walked into his room after patrolling, then collapsed onto his bed, exhausted. When his head hit the bead, it wasn't on a pillow. Instead, there was a now dented box. A box of condoms, with a sticky note attached. The note read,  
> I know you love her, so this way, you're prepared-TS ;)  
> Peter sat up and groaned. He would never get over Iron Dad, as Pepper and Rhodey called it, and he was pissed.  
> Tony knew Peter didn't like it, so for the next few weeks, he would find small presents everywhere: individual condoms in everything.  
> Peter always said he would get revenge...


	6. Confidential

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hehehehe...angst
> 
> Sorry I won't say any more, but it's amazing protective irondad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry im not posting so much, I hate writing action and yet im having to bc im ahead and its staying that way but here have my fave chapter

Several hours earlier

Tony Stank: hey spiderkid can u come over

Peter-Man: sure why

Tony Stank: a bother figure cant ask his son to come over i am offended

Peter-Man: ok uwu

  
  
  


Now

“Hey, Mr. Stark, what’s going on?”

“You’re really recording this, Peter?”

“Oh, I can turn it off.”

Once the camera was turned off, Tony Stark turned to the boy, putting his hands on his son’s shoulders.  He thought of Peter as his son, but he wasn’t sure if he’d accept it yet. It hadn’t been long since his Uncle Ben died. But right now, there were more important things to worry about.

“Hey, Pete. What I’m saying right now,  **nobody** outside of the teams, Pepper, or Happy can hear about this, OK? Not even your friends MJ and Ted. If anyone asks, this conversation never happened.”

Peter would usually correct Tony, saying “His name’s Ned, Mr. Stark,” but not today, not when his mentor seemed so deadly serious. Both the man and the teen were utterly silent. But outside, not knowing the gravity of the situation, the sun still shone, people still yelled, and haggled, and argued, and pigeons still flocked towards any dropped food. They were in New York, after all.

“What’s going on, Mr. Stark?”

Noticing the tension, the worry in his mentor’s face, he wanted to see if he could help. If Mr. Stark needed him for a mission, he would help. After all, he could do it now. He was stronger, better prepared then in Germany, and even there, he thought he did pretty well.

Tony sighed, and tried to start speaking, but every syllable he had planned flew out of his head. He didn’t know how to break this news to a 15, no, 16 year old kid, especially when he cared so much about being Spider-Man and wanted to keep helping people, especially since he took so much joy in it, and even without that, it had always given Peter a sense of purpose. He rubbed his goatee, thinking about what to do, what to say, before starting.

“Look, Pete,”, then he hesitated, not wanting to say any more. “We, uh, we need to talk.”

After that first faltering line, the words came out fast, hushed, and urgent. To his kid, and any other vigilante, this was life or death.

“Some shit’s going to hit the fan. And soon. I… I hoped I would never have to say this to you, I hoped Steve and I and the rest of the team could take care of it, but all of us, we’re going to take down the Accords. And we’re going to take them down in the most spectacular way possible.” 

Tony hesitated before starting again.

“In a few days, Team Cap is going to get onto the Raft. They’ll do anything in there power to keep that news from getting out. At the same time, Pepper and her legal team will expose the human rights violations that have happened on the Raft, and show exactly how unjust this whole system is. Ross will be furious, I know he will be, he’s devoted his entire life and career to making sure that the only people or anything and anyone else with powers is directly under his control. And he’s been wanting to go after Spider-Man for a long time. In the next few days, weeks, whatever it takes,  **you need to stay out of this.** For your own safety. Until this blows over,  **no more Spider-Manning. Not just for you, but for your friends.** OK, Peter?”

During this entire speech, Tony’s grip on Peter’s shoulders had been getting tighter, and by the end it was painful. Looking at his mentor’s sweaty face, he saw wide, panicked eyes. In that moment he realized how much Mr. Stark cared about him. And if what he was saying was true… well he didn’t want to lose another family member, or anyone else to his Parker Luck. And if Mr. Stark was warning him like this, he realized, this meant major trouble. As much as it hurt him, he had to stay out of this. Looking into his mentor’s face, he said those 4 fateful words.”

“I promise, Mr. Stark.”

Peter took a deep, shivery breath. Held it in for a second, then let it out in one big whoosh.

“If it’s really as bad as you say, I’ll stay out of this.”

Tony visibly relaxed. He let out a breath he’d been holding in while Peter spoke. He thought that now his kid would be safe, like he needed, he wanted him to be.

“Then you should go back to your apartment.”

Trying to be funny, he said “Say hi to Aunt Hottie for me, will you Pete?”

Peter didn’t respond. Tony didn’t want to be hard on him, but he thought he’d been too harsh. Speaking to Friday, he said “Hey, Fri. Delete the last 5 minutes of footage for me, dear?”

“Already done, boss.”

“Thanks.”

He walked to the lab, knowing that it would be another sleepless night later. There was too much dread and fear and just thoughts going around in his mind to sleep. But he’d at least warned the Spider-Kid. And hopefully he’d be safe now.

That same day, Peter walked home in the bright summer sunlight. He, like Tony, had an incredible amount of thoughts floating around in his head. He thought about how he could talk to all of the other vigilantes he knew. He’d have to talk to Deadpool, he thought, he knew everyone. Same with Daredevil. And he’d tell all of the people he knew with powers, tell them to stay safe. He knew there was an entire community of Inhumans that were homeless for various reasons, including some people his age who had been thrown out. He would warn them too, he decided, thanking MJ for telling him about the Accords. At least he knew who would be targeted for having different DNA.

As he passed an alley near Delmar’s, he felt a weird sensation, like a tingle running down his back. At the same time, his sense of dread also increased, like he somehow knew he was in danger. But really quickly, it went away, like nothing had ever happened. He still decided to not get that sandwich at Delmar’s. Maybe he should hang out at home today and chill. He still needed to get an entire essay done. And the one for next week. He groaned. Staying home today wouldn’t be fun, but his GPA would thank him for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life! :)


	7. Avengers...assemble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're planning their next move... you know who it is by now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for violence 
> 
> this was fun to write, honestly. I don't like torturing you... but I secretly do. And it only gets worse from here. I'm not sorry.

Peter was lying on the top bunk of his bed, bored. He couldn’t go out as Spider-Man, so he was ahead in all of his classes for once. MJ and Ned both had stuff to do. MJ didn’t say what was going on, but Ned had Robotics club. Peter had quit that club, so he was stuck here, thanks to Iron Dad’s decree. 

He couldn’t just sit there any longer, he wanted to talk to someone. He pulled on his mask, as talking to Karen was better than lying there. 

“Hey, Karen.”

“Hello, Peter. Do I need to remind you, that according to Mr. Stark, you shouldn’t be out patrolling?”

“No Karen,” Peter said, then sighed, “I’m just bored. I patrol so much that I’m not used to having this much time to myself.”

“If you want me to, Peter, I can get you the video of the meeting with all of the Avengers that’s currently going on.”

“Thanks, Karen! That would be great, actually.”

In the next few seconds, the view of a meeting room with all of the Avengers popped up on the HUD in his mask.

* * * * * * * *

All of the remaining Avengers were gathered in your stereotypical conference room: large glass windows, a table and chairs, a projector, some food, and the piece de resistance, soulless art. This could have been anyone, except all of the remaining Rogue Avengers were there, along with Hawkeye and Antman, and they were in their signature superhero uniforms.

Tony was at the front of the room with Steve, the couple clearly in charge. Steve was in front, pointing out the layout of the Raft.

“The only entrance is at the top and the cells are all along the walls on the bottom few levels. If we’re doing this, we’ll need to take out the guards, with most of them along the top few levels, and many of them on the bottom three. We think that Vision and Wanda are being held on one of the bottom levels. Tony will hack in to get us clearance to get into the Raft. We’ll take out the guards, then use my husband’s skills to get down there, most likely by letting some of the less dangerous prisoners loose. Then Natasha and I will free Vis and Wanda while Clint, Antman, and Falcon keep everyone else busy, then escape.”

Tony pulled Steve in for a quick peck, then smiled at him flirtatiously. 

“If this works out, I’ll have a surprise waiting for you.”

Even through the grainy security feed, Peter could see the super soldier blushing. He had thought that nobody could get more red than him, but Steve’s cheeks looked like they had the weird red circles of an old doll’s blush.

Then Tony sighed, grabbing some blueberries and offering it to everyone before grabbing a few and eating some himself.

“While Team Cap gets to do the fun part, I will be stuck here, hacking into the third most secure database on Earth, as SI’s and Wakanda’s security is far better, while Rhodey and Pepper will take the data I get and use it to go and sue these assholes so hard that they’ll wish they were dead.”

Rhodey crossed his arms, looking sceptical.

“We all know you’ll enjoy hacking into the Raft. It probably won’t even be hard for you.”

“True, honeybear. For once, hacking into the Pentagon on a dare is useful. And I love taking down douchebags, it’s my specialty.”

Peter’d seen enough of the video by now to figure out what was happening. His father figures flirted almost constantly, and he didn’t want to deal with that today. Peter took off the mask and decided to go to Delmar’s. He still had money left over from a few days ago, and he was getting hungry, so he grabbed his coat and walked out the door.

As he passed the alley, he felt the same tingle from a few days ago, but ignored it. It didn’t seem to be anything, just make him think that he was in danger. He just thought it was his anxiety, which would decide to minorly ruin his life sometimes, and it always started like this, just a vague sense of fear. But it was way worse this time than usual. 

He still ignored it. He went to Delmar’s, got his usual order, and talked for a bit, just trying to distract himself from the anxiety attack he thought was inevitable. Even with everything he was doing, the fear and dread kept getting worse. He didn’t stick around and talk, then, instead deciding to walk home, eating his sandwich.

And Peter, being the dumbass that he is, walked right into a trap. Some random thugs, dressed like every college student out there, in sweats and oversized sweatshirts surrounded him. They grabbed his arms to try and keep him from attacking. Apparently, they didn’t expect Peter to have super strength, so it wasn’t like he really had to work. He managed to rip his arms out, push everyone out of the way, and then tried to run home. 

That day, Peter forgot his web shooters at home, so when he ran into the 2 thugs waiting for him, he wasn’t prepared. Peter was surprised when they grabbed his arms and he couldn’t break out, no matter how much he thrashed around and tried to break their holds. Peter panicked, knowing that they knew who he was, and knew exactly how strong he really is. Eventually, he calmed down enough to realize his legs were free. As they guided him into the alley, he kicked up his leg and hit one of them in the balls. The person who had been kicked in the balls dropped his arm, and he managed to break thug #2’s grip. He would’ve run, but as he turned around, something hit him in the back of the neck, and the other in the shoulder.

Peter fell, vaguely seeing the two men go and start to drag him toward a van before he was forced into sleep by the drugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST!!!!!
> 
> Whatever will happen to Peter? Look im not sorry, I regret nothing, I just love writing even if I sacrifice some reader's souls in the process


	8. Where the fuck is the Spider-Kid?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Shit!” Tony ran a hand through his hair, starting to panic. He had one last card to play. “Hey, Fri, when was the last time Peter showed up on any security cameras?”
> 
> This pause was slightly longer, as Friday was sifting through an entire city’s worth of footage. Tony was pacing, fidgeting, as he got more and more anxious.
> 
> “Boss? You should see this.”
> 
> Tony watched as footage from a camera outside of a bodega, Delmar’s, showed Peter, his KID Peter get abducted by a group of thugs. There was almost no footage, and whomever attacked his son had used the most nondescript people he could find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i didn't post, my parents friends were at my house I didnt have time to write
> 
> tw for a panic attack

Tony was wandering around the penthouse that night, just pacing. This normally happened the night before any mission. He couldn’t sleep, too worried about what Steve might face in that next day. An hour before, Steve had tried to get him to go to bed. It didn’t work, and Tony was either extremely lucky or extremely unlucky to still be awake when the fateful phone call arrived. 

“Boss, you have a call from May Parker.” Then the AI’s voice started to sound more frantic, more afraid. “It seems rather urgent.”

Tony’s first thought was I told the spider-kid to stop patrolling! And what did he do now, get stabbed? He told Friday to answer the call.

May sounded frantic, even like she’d started crying. Either way, she was obviously panicking. Her voice sounded rushed as the words gushed out. 

“I can’t find Peter. He texted me when he got back from school, but I had a late shift, and…”

“He’s not with me, Friday would’ve let me know. Hold on,” Tony said, then asked Friday, “Can you give me a location on Peter’s phone?” Tony knew that, while he would forget his watch, the one that turned into his web shooters, he always had his phone with him.

“I can’t access the location of Peter Parker’s phone.”

“Shit!” Tony ran a hand through his hair, starting to panic. He had one last card to play. “Hey, Fri, when was the last time Peter showed up on any security cameras?”

This pause was slightly longer, as Friday was sifting through an entire city’s worth of footage. Tony was pacing, fidgeting, as he got more and more anxious.

“Boss? You should see this.”

Tony watched as footage from a camera outside of a bodega, Delmar’s, showed Peter, his KID Peter get abducted by a group of thugs. There was almost no footage, and whomever attacked his son had used the most nondescript people he could find.

“Friday? Track them.”

“Okay Boss.”

Tony collapsed onto the nearest couch, dimly noticing through his panic that this was the same couch the kid had been recording his sitcom on. He was just sitting there, not trying anything to stop the torrent of What ifs? going through his mind. Eventually Steve came in, sat with him, getting him to go through some breathing exercises, getting him to do anything, ANYTHING, to deal with the panic.

Once Tony wasn’t panicking, Steve asked the question. Softly, looking into his husband’s eyes, he asked “What happened?”

Tony started crying again, punching the couch, doing whatever he could to try and work out the panic and anger. “Peter was kidnapped. I-” Tony stopped, took a shuddery breath, then continued, “I think it was Ross.”

Friday confirmed it. “I have traced the vehicles used to the US military.”

Steve growled, “Not helping, Friday,” as his husband gripped his hand even tighter and seemed to collapse into himself.

Gently, he offered, “I could call his aunt.”

Tony laughed, brokenly. “She’s never forgiven you for Germany. I’ll do it.”

Tony retreated into another room to make the call. The door closed, making it obvious that he didn’t want to be disturbed.

Steve got up, stiffly, and called the rest of his team.

“We’ve got another problem. You remember Spider-Man? He’s been abducted by Ross. We have another hostage to save.”  
* * * * * * * * 

When Peter woke up, it was in a cold, harshly lit cell. Slowly, he uncurled out of the ball he’d rolled into while he slept. His first thought was I wonder if MJ will let me miss Decathalon Practice if I’ve been abducted. He banged at the glass of his cell, wondering if it would break. All he got was an electric shock, one that was strong enough to make his body feel like it was on fire. He started to panic, realizing, Shit. If they have glass strong enough that I can’t break out… They were ready for me.

Peter looked around. The only two others there was a person who looked female, but he didn’t want to assume, and someone that looked vaguely male, but had purple skin and a stone in their forehead. 

“Vision,”, he whispered, realizing who was in there with him, which meant the other person was… “Scarlet Witch?”

Wanda nodded, then put her finger to her lips, warning him to be quiet. He saw that she looked afraid, beaten down, and exactly how bad this was occurred to him.

He was in the Raft. He’d noticed a collar, slim, made of metal on both him and Scarlet Witch. It looked like there was a battery, and something to conduct the electricity. That was why he got shocked. He could get tortured, or even worse…

Peter screamed, wanting someone to hear him, but knowing it would never happen. Then he screamed again,from pain, from smelling the burnt skin of his neck.

Once it stopped, Peter went quiet for a while. Eventually he fell asleep, wanting this to just be a dream, or at least escape this timeline, the timeline god abandoned, for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments give me life *hint hint wink wink*


	9. Jailbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the Raft break in chapter, yay!
> 
> and it's got angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is violent, and people are definitely panicking like half the time, so like be careful

So far, for team Cap, the break in had been easy, mostly because of Tony. They’d gotten into the facility, taken down most of the guards on the upper levels, and now they were going down, deep into the ocean. Everything had gone so smoothly, they all somehow expected the plan to go terribly wrong.

When they finally got down to where Vision, Wanda, and Peter were, they realized that they were in trouble. Steve had thought that everything going well meant that it was well planned and that everyone had done their job well. He had gotten out of the Raft before, they all had. But when he saw the three guards, he was afraid.

These were the cruelest guards, two women and one man. They had always been sadistic, quick to withhold food, and would use the shock collar for little things, sometimes even because of their boredom. They were also enhanced, which was why they were kept down there. The woman, the one with the dark brown hair, their leader, could even beat him up. Ross thought they were loyal. They were just here to cause pain, no questions asked.

When Steve entered the room and saw those faces, he panicked, freezing. His heart started pounding and he felt like the collar was back, pressing into his skin. But more importantly, he saw that all of them were being held by a guard. They’d put something on Vision, he seemed to be stuck in his solid state. Wanda was back in the collar, with her hands completely covered by metal, helpless. Even from here, he could see the burns left by the collar. And then he saw Peter. Helpless, brave, Peter. He had some burns, but they weren’t bad. Mostly, he just seemed way weaker than usual. Their leader, who had used the last name Carrow for this, had a gun to Peter’s head. 

The crack Steve heard when the gun was brought down on Peter’s nose was worse than any other sound in the universe. Once the blood started to stream down Peter’s face, he realized that he really cared for that kid, enough to die for him. He almost ran forward, but Carrow started to speak.

“Stop, and nobody will get hurt.”

“What do you want?” Steve suddenly realized how cold it was in there, his breath was coming out in little clouds.

“To talk.” The three of them smiled, in synch. Steve would have almost found them attractive, he had, back when they were faces, back before he’d realized they had been everywhere, tailing him for Ross. He was too disgusted to think that they were anything but evil now, the word going through his mind as the feeling of disgust creeped through his body.

“Oh, and if you don’t, the others-”  
The biggest, brutish one went over towards Wanda, a knife in his hand. He pressed it against her throat, slowly, knowing Captain America was watching every second, trying to break him by putting his colleagues, his friends in danger. A razor sharp blade, combined with a laser at the tip was put to Vision’s head, right under the mind stone.

“Will die.” she finished, looking smug. “What, have I finally managed to find out the Captain’s weakness?”

Steve threw his shield at her, and everything went to hell at the same time. Two shots rang out, one from the guard holding Wanda and the other from Carrow. Wanda deflected the shot aimed at her with her magic and Peter barely dodged the bullet aimed at his head. Then scarlet exploded around Wanda as she exploded her shackles and knocked out the guard holding Vision before they could cut the mind stone out of his forehead. Black Widow swung from a pipe above and used her widow bites as a taser on the other female guard, then while they were down, shoved her into the cell that Peter had been in. Finally, it was 5 against 1, and that was solved by Wanda getting her revenge by throwing her against a wall.

Natasha looked at Steve, then said “There are more guards coming.”

“We’re trapped. We’ll have to fight our way out.”

Peter may have been tortured recently and under pressure, but he’d gotten used to high stakes, and his crazy ideas usually worked. With the pipes above him, it was like Spider-Manning, but in a different situation. “We go above them,” said the teen.

Everyone looked at him, surprised. “What?”

He shrugged. “Wanda can fly her and Vision up there, you can climb, Spider-Mom, and Cap and I can jump up, or maybe Wanda can lift us up there.”

Right before the guards got in there, all of the Rogue Avengers and a Spider-Kid were hiding on the exposed pipes. Then, they fired on them from above using whatever they had. Peter never looked, along with Wanda. By the end the floor and walls were covered with enough blood and gore to fuel anyone’s nightmares forever. Everything was stained red.

They all kept going, kept walking up the stairs, trying to get up so they could get out of this hell. They would run into guards occasionally, always taking them out, with the guards occasionally getting in some hits, but never really hurting them. When they got up to the top level, they saw several groups of tied up guards and two people, Hawkeye and Falcon. They got on the plane, silently. There was a clunking sound that everyone noticed, as the doors started to close. The entire time they’d been getting up there, the Raft had been slowly submerging.

And everyone

Broke

Down.

Peter started crying, panicking, with everyone trying to help him. Wanda retreated into a corner, only letting Vision get close to her.

The phone, the old stupid flip phone, his one tie to his husband started ringing.

“The Raft-”

“I know,” Steve interjected. “How soon can you get us out of here?”

“I’ll keep trying. How is everyone?”

Steve looked around at the mess, realising that everyone here had just been broken.

“Just get here soon. We all need to get out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay I got the motivation to update!


	10. Team Ironman and Team Cap...Unite!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony retreated to his lab right after the call from Steve. He knew him, and he knew that Steve was also having problems. He was trying to keep his whole world from falling apart, and there was nothing he could do to help. He fell into his chair, feeling horrible for the fact that he couldn’t be there.
> 
> “Oh, honey,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”
> 
> Then he addressed Friday. If he couldn’t do anything here, he could at least try to get it back up. “Fri, dear? Keep going. My husband and my kid are stuck in there, and-” He stopped, almost panicking. “I-I need them to get back here. Now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's ya gurl, and Im back and have finally finished writing this fic

Tony retreated to his lab right after the call from Steve. He knew him, and he knew that Steve was also having problems. He was trying to keep his whole world from falling apart, and there was nothing he could do to help. He fell into his chair, feeling horrible for the fact that he couldn’t be there.

“Oh, honey,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Then he addressed Friday. If he couldn’t do anything here, he could at least try to get it back up. “Fri, dear? Keep going. My husband and my kid are stuck in there, and-” He stopped, almost panicking. “I-I need them to get back here. Now.”

Tony looked back at the monitors, displaying all of the news articles using the photos that Pepper had leaked. Everyone was attacking Ross, showing the audio of people tormenting the people on the Raft, pictures of Wanda chained up, the lists of people who’d been thrown in there, just for being a mutant, or a meta-mutant, or just unlucky. They’d been let out the first time Steve, Nat, Wanda, and Vision had escaped, they’d actually escorted most of them out. That was the first time they’d talked, really talked, since the beginnings of the civil war between the two sides. Everyone who’d gotten off the Raft had made it to Wakanda, and they were still there.  
If that had worked out, surely this current… situation would be fine.

After all, Tony wanted, NEEDED it to work out. He couldn’t take any more. He couldn’t. He’d lost too many people and now he felt like if he lost any more he would break.

Thinking of his husband, Peter, everyone else who he cared about, he knew he needed to do something, anything, just to help these people. It was that or break down, and as much as everyone close to him wanted him to forget it, the phrase “Stark men are made of iron,” would never leave his brain, his body, his personality. When he had problems, he worked through them.

He turned on his phone’s camera, put it in selfie mode, and started to speak.

“Hi. You know who I am. If you’re seeing this, then the whole entire Raft, Ross, and Accords stuff has turned into a royal shit show. The only reason I’m doing this is because…” Tony wonders if the consequences would be worth it, he’s exposing something that’s illegal, but he figures that at the point people see this they won’t care. This is for his family after all.”

“You know, this all really started because of a kid, well a superhero really. He’s good. Looks out for the little guy. I mentored him, tried to do my best, even with all of this crap going on.”

“His name is Spider-Man.”

Tony paused, letting it sink in, even if it was just on video.

“At the same time this happened, I was trying to make everything up to my husband, Steve. It was hard, but we decided to do this, Right now, we showed the whole world how completely stupid these Accords are. They take away people’s privacy, their rights, all because of what they choose to do and their DNA.”

“Right now, I’m showing you something Spider-Man made, just for fun. He told me that he wanted to show the world exactly who we are, who the Avengers are. I’m showing you that we’re just people, right as my husband and my kid are stuck on the fucking Raft, all because they were trying to get some people who have done nothing wrong out, or because they are those people.”

Tony was screaming at the camera, but he didn’t care anymore.

“If you see this , honey, Underoos. This is for you. I’m showing the world the real you.”

“Hey, Fri, will you do something for me?”

“Of course, boss. What do you need?”

“Put all of Peter’s videos on YouTube. You know which ones. Make sure they don’t reveal his identity though.”

“What should I call the account, boss?”

“Call it…”

Tony thought about it for a minute, then came up with the perfect name.

“Call it ‘Team Ironman and Team Cap… Unite!!!!!’”

“Already done, boss.”

Tony went on his phone and posted the video he’d just taken. No edits, no nothing, and put it on twitter. He added a link to the new YouTube account he’d just made, and then he sat back in his chair and watched.

“This is for you, Underoos. And honey? You and Peter need to get back here alive, or I will find your ghosts and kill them too.”


	11. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve, Sam, and Nat looked at the chaos that was forming right across from them. Everyone but the three of them had just broken down, right after escaping from their cells in the Raft. 
> 
> Hell, Steve didn’t blame them. Just being in this place, one that held memories of pain and torture, it made him want to panic. Or puke. Or burn this fucking shithole to the ground. Before he realized it, he was spiraling, getting lost in the panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres some blood and everyone just generally being in a shitty state mentally and a panic attack, soooo yeah
> 
> enjoy the angst and the wump

Steve, Sam, and Nat looked at the chaos that was forming right across from them. Everyone but the three of them had just broken down, right after escaping from their cells in the Raft. 

Hell, Steve didn’t blame them. Just being in this place, one that held memories of pain and torture, it made him want to panic. Or puke. Or burn this fucking shithole to the ground. Before he realized it, he was spiraling, getting lost in the panic.

He only started to realize what was going on when he heard Sam’s voice, telling him how long to breathe for. It was a trick they’d all used. Both to help each other, and the rest of their team. He looked up into Sam’s eyes.

“Hey, man. You good?”

“I’m fine, Sam.”

“It’s good not to be fine, Cap.”

Steve looked down. This part of the Raft wasn’t quite as indestructible as the rest of it. He’d crushed part of the metal walls. It looked like crumpled up tissue paper. Good. It felt perversely good to destroy his former prison.

“Natasha.”

She turned to face him, studying his face for a minute before responding, saying the exact words he wanted to hear.

“Everyone else kept here got out. Nobody is in here but us and some of the guards that we didn’t throw out of here.”

“Do you know where we are?”

“It’s the place for the guards. What passes for a kitchen in this hellhole,” she answered. “There should be some food left.”

Steve didn’t feel hungry, just tired from the two different adrenaline crashes in under an hour. He needed to eat. He searched the cabinets and found some prepackaged food. He took several of them for himself, then remembered that Peter was there. Peter’s metabolism was just as fast, if not faster than his. The worst part of the Raft was how little they fed them. It had to be horrible for Peter.

Steve crossed to the other side of the room, putting some of the food down next to Vision, who was trying to calm down a still panicking Wanda.

“Thank you.” 

“Are you all right?”

“They could never really hurt me. None of their weapons were advanced enough, and even then, I do not feel much pain.” The android sighed. “Instead, they hurt Wanda. Now, I will do anything to protect her.”

He then went over to try and talk to Peter. The sight of his face, covered in bruises and flecks of blood, made him even more protective.

Steve held out one of the meals. “Here. You need to eat.” Peter barely responded, just grabbing the food, then eating it mechanically. This wasn’t like Peter. Every time Steve had met him, he’d always been animated. He knew that trauma did strange things to people, but he still seems off.

The phone beeps, and Steve answers it.

“Hi, honey. How is everyone?”

“A fucking mess. You?”

Steve glanced around. Everyone here seemed to be two seconds away from death or a panic attack. At the moment, Sam was the most in control, after Natasha, and even then, he knew that she would be spending the next few days doing everything she could to work out the tension and panic. This happened every time after running into another Black Widow, especially the ones she had a history with, like Carrow, or whatever her real name was. And from what he knew, Carrow was one of the most unstable and bloodthirsty of them all.

“I am this close to cracking the code. The Raft should start to surface-”

Steve heard the grinding of metal, and knew that they were this close to escaping. Peter also turned his head, the first sign that he really was there in that present moment.

“Right now.”

Steve smiled.

“Nat. Let’s get in the jet. We’re going home.”

At those words, everyone started to almost stand up, Vision staying solid to support Wanda. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Peter try to stand up, then falling. Steve rushes over to support him. He notices blood smeared on the wall and still oozing out of a cut on his back.

Steve picks up the kid. 

“Why the hell didn’t you tell us?”

Peter was only about half conscious of where he was at that point, but he managed to say, “I didn’t want to be a bother.”

“You were never a bother, kid.”

“Thanks, Mr. Captain America.”

He keeps talking to the kid until he’s in the jet, on the way back. There are many times where Sam’s knowledge is useful, and now is one of them. Looking at the kid, though, he realizes that he never wanted this to happen to him. Steve collapses into one of the seats for the entire flight home.

Once they reach the Compound, Peter’s wheeled off somewhere, but more importantly, Tony’s there, looking stressed, but still there for him, before helping him calm down and get some sleep, because, as Tony said, “You look worse than I did right after New York.”


	12. All hail Queen MJ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finished with this fic and it feels so goood

About a week after everyone came back, Tony decided to break the news to Peter about what he’d done with the videos. Peter was sitting on the couch playing Mario Kart against Hawkeye. He walked right up to him right as he beat him on Rainbow Road. Hawkeye immediately started theatrically screaming.

“Noooooooo! I have been vanquished! Save me Tasha! Avenge me!”

Peter started giggling. Just hearing that sound made Tony happy. After escaping from the Raft, he’d been quiet, nervous, and probably wouldn’t have left the room if the rest of the Avengers hadn’t made him. Tony was really glad they were looking out for him, trying to help him deal with what had happened to him.

Tony approached Peter. Once he was a few steps away, he started to talk.

“Hi, Peter.”

At the sound of his voice Peter jumped up before realizing who he was talking to. Then he smiled, trying to cover up the fact that he’d been panicking a second ago.

“Oh, um, hey Mr. Stark.”

Tony sighed. When he was younger, he’d also never wanted to show he was afraid, but for different reasons. Whatever happened, he knew he didn’t want Peter picking up on his bad habits.

“Pete,” he said, sounding annoyed but also fond. “You do know that it’s okay to feel afraid after something like this? You don’t have to hide it. In this tower,” Tony gestured around the room, “all of us have a shit ton of trauma. You don’t have to hide your problems.”

Peter rolled his eyes, finally starting to sass him a bit. In Peter’s eyes, he guessed, being around him was familiar and seemed safe.

“Tony’s right.” 

Steve had sneaked up behind Tony, just now letting them know that he was there. He waved at Peter.

“Hello, Queens.”

Steve turned to face the brunet in front of him, then kissed him.  
Tony was happy, but still was glaring at him. They’d planned how they were going to tell Peter about the videos. It helped that Pepper, a media goddess, was in charge of the story, but he still wasn’t sure how Peter would react.

Tony turned around and cleared his throat.

“So, um, when you’d been kidnapped, I may have shown the whole world the videos you made of us.”

Peter was sitting very still, not really reacting to what Tony had said. Tony started to panic.

“OhMyGod. Wait, is this bad? Did I somehow fuck up? Shitshitshitshitshit!!! I can take it down if I-”

Peter reacted the exact opposite way Tony had expected him to.

“It’s okay, Mr. Stark.”

“Wait, what?”

“So, um, this was all MJ’s idea. When you warned me about the stuff with the Accords, I told Ned and MJ. We made a version of the videos that wouldn’t reveal my identity, and then told my Aunt May about it. If she found out that I’d been kidnapped, she’d tell them, or if they found out, they’d post the videos themselves. MJ said that by doing this it would, I don’t know, humanize me, or something and it would make people want to protest the Accords.”

Tony’s only response was a surprised “Oh.”

Peter kept talking.

“You can do anything you want as long as I don’t have to talk about...that for a while.”

Then he turned around and challenged Clint to a rematch.


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you filming right now Underoos?”
> 
> “No, I’m just starting.”
> 
> *shot starts with Spider-Man waving at the camera*
> 
> “It is Wednesday my dudes!”
> 
> *someone screams in the background*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really short, but I'm done and pretty happy with this fic overall, comment if you'd want to see the random fluffy ideas I have floating around in my head as part of this au written

“Are you filming right now Underoos?”

“No, I’m just starting.”

*shot starts with Spider-Man waving at the camera*

“It is Wednesday my dudes!”

*someone screams in the background*

“And today I’m at the Avengers Compound. Everyone’s at a party as they’re watching the new Sokovia Accords get signed. It’s kind of like watching which state candidates have won on Election Day. Which they have done.”

*cut to a video of everyone sobbing after seeing that Donald Trump won. Steve’s yelling about immigration (Everyone deserves to be able to have a better life here! I’m the *bleep*ing son of an immigrant, and this isn’t what America’s about!), Wanda’s stress eating, Sam and Rhodey are calling everyone they know in the military who might have problems, and Tony and Natasha are quietly plotting. Nat’s planning a murder and Tony is using all of his influence in Congress to make sure he can’t pass anything.*

“So, here we are.”

*shows all of the Avengers plus some other superheroes in front of a giant TV. Everyone is laughing and celebrating, with Steve yelling “America! Fuck yeah!”*

*Spider-Man looks back at the camera*

“So, I don’t really want to go in there, but this is over, and I can go back to being Spider-Man without the insanity. Except for you guys. I love you all. See ya next Wednesday for my next video!”

*Spider-Man winks at the video, then it shuts off*

**Author's Note:**

> IDK what my posting schedule is it'll be every few days or just when I get the next chapter done, I'm trying to stay 3 chapters ahead of what I'm posting so i've got up to chapter 4 finished but my posting schedule won't be regular, but I'll try not to ghost you if I do i'm sorry
> 
> also the chapters are short but they're mostly dialogue sooo.....


End file.
